My happy baby. She was not happy a lot this week.
First I must explain where this idea came from because we are surrounded and immersed in a society that is connected to others in more ways then we ever need. At my breastfeeding meeting they tell the moms-to-be "don't get the app (to take care of your baby and track their feedings/diapers) get Netflix". This is because you will probably spend a ton of time nursing the baby in the beginning and you'll quickly become bored and hey, Netflix just streams episode after episode and all you have to do is tell it your still watching every few episodes or so. Dude I can feed the baby and binge watch Gilmore Girls all day? This new mom life is THE life to have!
Sometimes yes. Sometimes not.
But in the meeting I totally agreed with that piece of advice because honestly Netflix was my life besides Audra. I would put it on in the morning and it wouldn't go off until we went to bed. I cringe to admit this but as a new mom I wanted background noise and an excuse to watch tons of TV guilt free. Well I realized I needed to unplug when Audra and I were having play time and I was so consumed by Iron Chef that I tuned Audra out for a second or two or three or thirty. I was drawn back to reality when her coos turned angry. She knew my attention was somewhere else and she was calling me back. This brings tears to my eyes. I was giving a TV show more attention then my daughter. How did it get this bad?? My life had turned into "OK will I watch The Office or Friends? OK that's enough stupid TV let's switch to Cupcake Wars and learn about how to bake. All right it's the afternoon I earned me another episode of Fixer Upper". I'm telling you Netflix was.my.life and it was bad. So I vowed to watch less. I would replace the noise of the TV with Pandora playing worship music or some Ella Fitzgerald and I would spend more time staring at my baby than an episode of Salvage Dawgs.
I was further convinced to do this at church this past Sunday. The first time I had heard a sermon since Audra was born and it was one I needed badly. We learned about how Elijah was so depressed he wanted to die but God led him to the top of a mountain because He had something to say to Elijah. He had Elijah stand there and wait for the presence of God. First there was a tornado-like winds. Second was a powerful earthquake. Third was there was a fire. But the Lord was not in these. He was in the gentle whisper that followed them. This message hits me hard every time I hear it. I took this into my life as a mom and learned that if I really wanted to connect with my daughter I needed to cut out the distractions. If I really needed to connect with God I needed to focus on the small quiet moments with her and with Him. The background noise was clouding everything else. The one thing I wanted to fill up the silence was truly filling up the silence in such a bad way and it took me way too long to realize it. Not anymore.
And as if I questioned it even in the slightest I then received an email from WTE about limiting screen time for babies. I took this as a final sign that I needed to cut back.
Monday - we were both tired. Audra stayed in a sleeper all day. It was a day of 2 cups of coffee and a bad day to cut out Netflix. It was rainy and cold and I wanted to do nothing BUT watch Netflix. But I remained abstinent. We had lots of play and face to face time. We cuddled and snuggled and giggled. During her naps I cleaned, did laundry, and worked out. Now I will admit during lunch I watched an episode of Fixer Upper. This my "me time". Unfortunately Netflix went on again after dinner when daddy went into the garage.
Tuesday - We spent the morning hanging out and playing and then we ran errands in the afternoon during Audra's nap time. It was Daddy's birthday but Audra was not a happy baby when she got up from her noon time nap. We were both crying when Daddy came home. Poor Daddy. All she wanted to do was be held and no sitting and "don't you dare lay me down for even a second". She was fussy, uncomfortable and spitting up like every half hour or hour. I came to the conclusion that she had an upset stomach and finally gave her gas drops after bath time. Netflix went on after dinner so we could both just chill.
The only way I could get her to have a solid nap. Half swaddle and on my lap. But I was OK with that. :)
Wednesday - Audra was still feeling yucky. Two poopy diapers within the first hour of waking up (one of which dirtied a onesie, pants AND a blanket). When she ate I burped her and it went - big deep burp, big poop, big deep burp. My poor baby was again only happy being held and cuddled. I also just didn't feel like doing anything so we put on a movie and relaxed and did a load of laundry. Hopefully whatever was bothering her is working it's way out of her system. The day slowly improved and again Netflix came on after dinner
She was content to sit on my lap for a whole 5 minutes. It was bliss.
Thursday - Pandora played the Wicked soundtrack/station all morning. This is not only Wicked music which I love but all Disney and Pixar music. It of course randomly throws in regular singers or groups but I always "thumbs down" those. I love this station. Audra seems to be feeling better but she wants to fall asleep at the breast, with the pacifier. Totally do able but never had her do this before. She has been extra cuddly these past few days and I love it. Tonight is grocery shopping. We now take Audra with us instead of having someone watch her. She does not like to stay in the car seat because she's so noisy and wants to see everything. So we end up keeping the car seat in the cart and putting food in and around it. It's pretty funny, Last time we took her with us she started fussing just when we went to check out and of course the line was long. So I was gearing up to take her out to the car and have Jonathan check out and pack everything up. But the dear lady who was behind us with only 2 items and refused to go in front of us was so sweet to Audra. She just kept talking to her and this calmed her down enough for us to get through the line and packed up. Bless that lady. Bless the people in public who like children and do not give a care that they are fussy. You people make mommas like me so much more at ease when baby starts fussing.
This time Audra was a rock star during grocery shopping. It's when we got home and had bath time that she lost it. Screaming for 10 minutes straight (which seems like an eternity). Turns out she was hungry even though I had just fed her an hour prior. Yowza.
*It was by this point in the week I realized Audra might be going thru a growth spurt...duh Momma*
Friday - The day I look forward to most every week. We made it. It's supposed to be warm today so we might get out and take a walk. We both need the fresh air. Audra decided to get up around 6 this morning which did not make for a very happy Momma. I needs extra coffees today. But we now look forward to the busy weekend and next time she looses it we look at cute and happy pictures on my phone and remember that these screaming moments won't last forever. I think I definitely earned some sort of "novice mother badge" this week. A small gem in my baseball cap (because I in no way deserve a crown).
Audra grabbed her butterfly the other day. Yay!
Last weekend we had a birthday party to go to. Audra spent a lot of time on Daddy's lap which made this Momma very happy. She was a rockstar all night. :) We even got a "girls only" photo session in!
Kisses for Audra!
Raise your hand if you love Audra! haha
A mommy-daughter selfie. Audra obviously had it with the pictures and needed a nap
So this week started out with good intentions. Cut out Netflix so that I could focus more on my life with Audra but of course Audra had a totally different definition of "look at me" which almost made me loose my marbles and come lunch or evening time Netflix was my saving grace. I feel much better about having Netflix on much less but sometimes when the house is clean, the dishes are done, the laundry is folded and the errands are run there is nothing left to do so it's you and this baby who counts on you for almost every aspect of entertainment. And sometimes momma's get drained of being the constant source of "grab your toy" or "Peek-a-boo" so we need that TV to entertain ourselves just like babies need us to entertain them. But it's a dangerous slope. We need to be super cautious of screen time because it's everywhere. I was on my phone the other day while holding Audra and she was watching the screen. I immediately turned my phone screen off and set it down. I need to soak up this time with her. Even though it's still early time is still fleeting. She will never turn 3 months again. She will never grab a toy for the first time ever again. She will never have a first laugh or a first roll over. Society and screens can take your attention from these moments without you even realizing it. But babies already realize it. They know when our attention is elsewhere. So realize it. Stop it. Stop and enjoy your babies because their only babies for a little while.
Have a happy and warm weekend friends.
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