Our Daily Life

Firstly I must thank each one of you who gave me feedback on my last post "Mom Guilt". I wish I had time to sit down and really type out my thoughts in full but with a baby on my hip it's not the easiest thing to do. Plus whenever she goes down for a nap I have a to-do list of things that need to be done. This makes me think it's time to do a post on our daily routine. I use the term routine very loosely. That is one thing I'm learning - our routine changes daily but in the big picture it is relatively the same each day. This is making life with a baby that much easier. Audra usually eats every 3 hours and naps every 1-2 hours.

We get up for the day around 6:30 - 7am when daddy leaves for work. Depending on when she ate last I feed her or not. If she doesn't eat then we take her out of her Swaddle Me blanket and change her diaper. I love love love watching her stretch when she wakes up. It's my favorite thing and I don't think it will ever get old. I sit her in her bouncer by our lit up ficus tree. She has loved looking at the twinkle lights since she was born. They mesmerize her. And she loves her bouncer too. This is her most talkative part of the day. She's suddenly turned into a morning person. So we sit there and chat while I eat breakfast and have my coffee for about 15-20 minutes. After this long she's getting sleepy again so I see if she is hungry. Usually she isn't so I swaddle her up in a light blanket (different then her Swaddle Me which is reserved for bedtime only) and pacify her and rock and sing her to sleep. Then she sleeps in her swing for exactly a half hour. Only twice has she slept longer than a half hour for her morning nap. I've read that this means she has trouble switching sleep cycles. I've tried everything to soothe her back to sleep but it never works.

During this half hour is when I either get myself ready for the day or workout. I also start some laundry and figure out what will be for dinner. If it's an easy dinner I don't start prep until later. If it's a crock pot type meal I start it now.

She wakes up maybe by 9:30 or 10 and I definitely feed her then. Then we change out of her pajamas, change her diaper again and play. In her bouncer, on her playmat, on the bed etc. We practice tummy time and standing and sitting and grabbing toys. We also try out a little peek-a-boo which she hasn't quite grasped yet. I also get a snack around this time too. Always hungry!

Around 11-11:30 she is getting swaddled and pacified again for her noon time nap. I always swaddle her when she sleeps if I'm not holding her the entire time. She has yet to gain control of her arms so they always wake her up if they are not restrained. She typically sleeps for 2 hours for this nap. I take this time and eat lunch, switch/fold laundry. Prep dinner. Sometimes I sit and watch a tv show and just have me time for a little bit. I always think I'm going to get so much done during these 2 hours but it flies by and before I know it she's up and hungry and I think "man I still have so much I need to do!". If I have errands I usually do them around this time too. Much easier on me if she sleeps during my running around.

Between 1 and 2 she is up so we feed her again and play some more. More tummy time and standing practice. If I haven't prepped dinner by now I do so because daddy will be home soon. Audra is usually OK for a short time to be on her own talking to her toys and squirming all over the place. If she wants to be held I put her in the carrier so I can do dinner or fold laundry.

By 4 or 4:30 She is asleep again for her afternoon nap. She sleeps for another half an hour or so. I use this time to get dinner done as much as I can. Audra is usually awake by the time we eat so I put her in her bouncer so I can eat a little bit. She doesn't last long though. She usually wants to eat herself or just be held for a while. Daddy and I sometimes take turns with her around this time. If Daddy doesn't go out to the garage to work on the truck he will wash dishes while I feed Audra. Or if Daddy does go out to the garage I take care of Audra and the dishes will just wait until she falls asleep. This nap can really range in when it happens during the day. If it happens later then we bathe her around 6 or 7. Sometimes she fits in another cat nap before bath time and bed time. IF the dishes are done and Audra goes down for a nap and I haven't showered by now this is my time to do my thang.

8-8:30pm We hope that she is awake around this time so that she can have a good time being awake before going to sleep for the night. If we haven't had bath time yet we do it now. She loves bath time. We still bathe her in the sink. I tried using her large bath basin in the tub last week but she was squirming so much that I ended up holding her up with one hand and washing with the other. We will try again in a month or so when she outgrows her Puj tub.

By 9 or 9:30 we are winding down for the night. She is usually asleep by 9:30. We all go to bed at this time. I follow suit and go to the sleep. Daddy usually stays up to read until around 10. Audra usually wakes up at least twice during the night to eat. And the by 6 or 6:30 we start all over again!

I try and find things to do during the week to break up the monotony. So sometimes we have lots to do sometimes we don't. If it's nice out we go for a walk. If not we try and find a friend or family member to visit. Her cousins love to entertain her! When she is 6 months old we can go to story time at the library! Sometimes when she gets up at 6:30am it feels like the day is going to just drag by but before we know it Daddy is home from work and we are getting ready for bed. It's true what they say "the days are long but the years fly by".

Hope this gave you a good glimpse of our day. We always welcome visitors or welcome the invitation to go visit someone. I am continuing to get a good idea of her schedule and she seems to be going a little longer between feedings which is so nice. Summer will be here before we know it and we are so excited to be able to go on more walks or just sit in the grass and play.

Audra is also getting a new cousin this September and we are so anxious to meet this precious baby. I know that Audra will just look so grown up by then even though she'll only be 9 months. Our annual Christmas Eve couch picture will have 2 new babies in it this year, so cool!

Have a great week friends and thanks for reading this. You make me smile!

P.s. Audra's first Easter was great. She saw her cousin Liam again and hopefully got some tips on how to roll over and grab things!

Mom Guilt

So I had no idea what this week’s post should be about. I’m not good at thinking of themes or catchy titles. I’m not good at being inspiring or teaching others from my failures. I don’t even feel like I’m a good writer and I’m surprised by all of you who read these posts each week. I keep expecting the “post viewed” number to be less than 10 but I never is. I will also admit that I don’t think I’m a good mother sometimes and this brings on mom guilt.

 

Mom guilt was not something I was familiar with before motherhood. I knew that becoming a mother was life changing but sometimes *ok almost always in my opinion* mothers make it out to be this “angels singing from the heavens” type of euphoric life. I don’t get it. I can count the number of “euphoric” moments I’ve had so far on one hand. Ok, less than one hand. Mom life is hard. Mom life is nothing you can prepare for no matter how many nieces, nephews, cousins, or babysitting jobs you’ve had. No matter how many books, blogs or Instagrams you follow. My mom life will never be like anyone else’s and my job is to be ok with that.

The other day I took 2 hours for myself. I had my mother in law watch Audra so I could get my hair cut. I had the money, I had a coupon, I had someone reliable to watch her; the stars had aligned. It was all working out perfectly. But I cried the whole way there. No one tells you that part. They tell you “oh you’ll be so glad just to get out of the house without them attached to you” but I wasn’t glad. I was consumed by mom guilt. I felt guilty because what I’ve seen from other moms is that I’m supposed to take her with me everywhere. I’m supposed to be good at having her with me. I’m supposed to handle it all with a perfectly make-up’d face, a perfect outfit and perfect hair. Now maybe it will get easier (as I’ve been told a million times already) and going out with her will become second nature but that hasn’t happened yet. It gives me anxiety every time we go out together.

But while I was at Starbucks after my haircut I heard a newborn cry. I looked around and saw a mother scrambling to get her stuff together and get out the door before the baby completely lost it and I it was then that I felt I wasn’t alone. Seeing her struggle made me feel normal about my struggle. The struggle is real. It's OK to struggle. Everyone struggles with something different. 

I feel guilty for numerous reasons every day and I’m wondering if this feeling will ever pass? Will I then feel guilty about other mom stuff? I assume I’ll get over the guilt I now feel eventually.

Well baby Audra is waking up from her nap so I better tend to her before I feel guilty about that too. Here are some sweet pictures of our sweet daughter.

HAPPY EASTER FRIENDS!

A feet picture of course!!

St. Patrick's Day Photo Sesh

Last week started out hard. Then it morphed into OK and then it regressed into hard again. After almost a week of Audra only getting up once per night to eat we've now done "two steps back" and she gets up twice to eat now. Progress is still being made but boy nights are rough again. Also she has a tougher time getting down for her bedtime lately. I usually wake her from her evening nap to change her, swaddle her and fill her tummy before putting her back down for the night. The last two night's she's been up 1-2hours past her "bedtime" and it's been rough for all of us. A few nights ago I spent an hour burping her and then daddy took over to get her to fall asleep.

Breastfeeding has also regressed lately. I'm not sure what has changed in my diet (except I've been taking Fenugreek to increase my supply so I can freeze some milk for when she starts solids) but the last 3 days of nursing her has been hard. I'm back to wanting to quit every time I feed her. I cringe every time I hear a "click" sound which means she took in air. I hold my breath every time she gags and coughs because she drank too much too fast. I grit my teeth every time it takes over 5 minutes to get a burp out. Then I breathe a sigh of relief when she does burp. But relief is short lived because...yep she has another burp. I informed her pediatrician about her burping problems and all she suggested was talk to the lactation lady. I doubt I'll go back to her but this burping problem has seriously giving me the I-want-to-quit blues. Has anyone else dealt with this? I've asked around and all anyone can suggest is what I've been doing for the last 2 months. It just seems no matter what I try she struggles with burping. It's taxing for sure and I have yet to find a solid cure. I need the "burp resistant baby" cure. Hello? Misses Piggle Wiggle?

The other day I was so fed up with her nursing struggles I caved and gave her 2oz of formula. I cried the entire time she drank. Her eyes and "I know this is not your milk" stare filled me with such mom guilt you guys I could barely stand it. That was the second time in her life she's gotten formula. I think sometimes when she has a mega burp and wants to still eat, the angle she lays at to eat hurts her tummy. So when she takes a bottle she lays in a different angle and it works much better. I'm slowly learning her cues and she is definitely getting better at burping but sometimes it just pushes me to my edge and I can barely even deal. #firsttimemomproblems

Well that is the latest around here. And we did a mini photo shoot on St. Patrick's Day last week. We are not a bit Irish but she had these lime green pans that are too cute so we semi-celebrated with our green! Also her hair thus far has a strawberry blonde tint so Audra looks very Irish these days!

Sweet baby footie pants

This picture on the left basically perfectly describes Audra. Always, always, ALWAYS moving. Unless she is sleeping she is wiggling in one way or another. 

The picture on the right I need to print out a million copies and make wallpaper with it. It's my favorite picture yet! Her smile melts me every.single.time.

This week is off to a good start. That is all I can say in order not to jinx it. But we are excited about Audra's first Easter on Sunday! No we won't be getting her an Easter basket because that simply means I'm buying my husband and I a bunch of candy and we're still snacking off our Christmas stash. But I've had her Easter dress picked out since she was born and I also recently bought her a bunny onesie that will be a little big on her but it was too adorable to pass up. I now officially buy her more clothes than I buy myself!

Happy Monday Friends!

It Takes a Village

"It takes a village to raise a child"

I had heard this phrase all the time growing up. I really thought it referred to those villages in the desert of Africa where clusters of people live together and children are held, fed, disciplined by all of them. I thought yeah that is nice but over here in Ohio I live mainly alone (with the exception that we live at my in-laws but I don't like to rely on them too terribly much). I don't have a half a dozen family members living under my roof that can take the baby so I can shower, sleep, fix dinner. Sometimes, I'll be honest, I was jealous of those tribes in Africa that helped new mothers adjust. But over these past two months I've learned that I have my own village, it just looks a little different. 

From the beginning we were brought meals, friends washed my dishes, family watched Audra so we can have date night or so I can take a nap and two months later it's just continued. My village stepped up to the plate more than I ever thought. I cannot even begin to thank all of you who have really made this mommy life an easy-ish transition for me. I could not have done it without all of you and your willingness to serve me where I needed it the most. I am so glad I heeded the best advice I received while pregnant - "take help when it is offered". When Audra was born and I was on an adrenaline high that first day I was thinking "this is cake, I've got this in the bag, sign, sealed, delivered". But then we came home and the rude awakening (not the baby crying at 2am) that followed was a shock to my system. I didn't have enough arms or enough energy to do it all but I did have people who offered to do what I couldn't and I gladly took any offer that was offered. So once again, if you helped me in any form these past two months - I am eternally grateful for you. You have no idea. 

So as I mentioned it's been two months. I have survived 9 weeks with this mini human and I have no idea how I did it - again kudos and praise for those around me who helped out so much. 

Big girl in her Bumbo seat! She can't sit in it without me keeping her from leaning but it definitely helps strengthen her neck

At two months Audra has become a joy to be around most of the time. Her schedule is getting easier to recognize. OK let's be honest I had no idea what her schedule was until I looked up a sample schedule. People say they eventually get into a routine and I thought that meant for the whole day so I was trying to track her every move and then I was frustrated when after two weeks of tracking her I still saw no pattern. But what people should of said was they have a mini schedule that might be similar to this:

E - Eat

A - Active/Awake

S - Sleep

Y - Your time 

Yes it spells out EASY which makes it...well easy to remember. Once I read this I was absolutely able to understand her schedule. Or when all heck breaks loose I have to think "OK where in the schedule are we? I'm so glad I found a printable on Pinterest that told me this schedule. This schedule also wants you to "dream feed" your child to get them to sleep through the night but I tried it twice with terrible results. So I skip that part. 

Speaking of sleep, we've made it to the long stretches of sleep at night and I thank Audra for it every morning. Now this doesn't mean every night is the same or even a good night. We seem to have a good night followed by a bad night. Or two good nights and then a bad night and as rough as those bad nights are, the good nights make up for it 1,000 times over!

Breastfeeding, we haven't talked about that in a while. I'm happy to report I no longer want to quit everyday. Most days are fine. Some days are terrible. Some days are dreamy. I continue to go to my LLL meetings because they are amazing and I love swapping "war" stories with other mommies. I have learned to nurse her on both sides if she will do it (this has become especially important at bedtime to really fill her belly). However nursing is still done reclining back most of the time. My flow still shoots out like a firehouse but we are learning to cope with it. 

Audra's awake time is becoming more fun too. She loves her activity mat. She loves to babble to her toys and to me. She loves to smile, even on our worst days her smile melts my heart and it's impossible to stay mad. She even loves tummy time now and is improving everyday. She lifts her head so high and kicks like a crazy woman. She is going to be such an active child, I can already tell. Which means I better start working out and getting back in shape so I can chase her around. 

Her first selfie

I'm slightly addicted to taking pictures of her toes when she is asleep

So I will finish this post before she wakes up with this. Everyday is different. People will tell you it gets easier once they have a schedule but that is a lie. Every day has it's own agenda. For instance, yesterday we both just cried almost all day. Audra would not nap longer than 40 minutes and if she wasn't eating or sleeping she was just fussy. This prompted me to text my husband to tell him dinner was not guaranteed and ask him to bring home donuts. I feel I earned a doughnut yesterday. I earned every single calorie. But then today is completely different - I made a lasagna while she napped. Also if she has a bad day of no sleeping this does not guarantee she will sleep great at night. And on the flip side if she sleeps a ton during the day this doesn't mean she will be awake all night. Each day is a new fresh start. A new chance to get to know my daughter and for her to get to know me. We say a prayer each morning for joy, strength, patience, perseverance and health. We have made it two months with each other - Audra it's been a wild two months my child!

A Few of My Favorite Things

How many of you now have the "My Favorite Things" song from Sound of Music in your head? My apologies. I have a few friends who are currently pregnant with their first so this is sort of for them and sort of for my own records.

During my pregnancy I did hours of research for the best and worst baby items out there so that I would not have a ton of unnecessary baby items floating around. I made lists, consulted Consumer Reports, read books, watched videos etc. These days we don't use many items so I'll just list the ones I have used and loved. Or the ones I thought I would hate but love.

The Puj bath tub - I knew I wanted one of these from the beginning but I wasn't a fan of the price tag. Fortunately I found one on Facebook for $5 and it is fantastic. I can put her in the tub and not worry about holding her with one hand and wash with the other. She simply sits there, happy as a clam.

The Ergo Carrier - I had researched a lot of carriers and I felt that the Ergo was a well-made and ergonomically correct way to wear my baby. I also knew that if for some reason Audra hated the Ergo, I could re-sell it for what I bought it for. Again, Facebook to the rescue! I found my pink and grey chevron Ergo Carrier on a budget-friendly baby-wearing page.

The Moby Wrap - I have to be honest, I'd heard a lot of raves and criticism for Moby Wraps. Their long, complicated, expensive etc. I also heard their the best way to carry your baby. I decided I didn't want a Moby and I would get a Baby K'Tan instead. But my dear cousin (in law? haha) lent me her wrap that she wasn't using for her baby boy and I was hooked. I wear it sometimes 3-4 times a day whenever I need to wash dishes, fold laundry, cook dinner etc and I cannot put Audra down.

*Side note* I highly recommend baby wearing! These last 7 weeks I have grown to rely on it more than I ever thought. Most newborns naturally want to be held ALOT because it comforts them. You think that you'll get things done when baby is sleeping but there are seriously days when I can't put her down or have anyone to hold them and it takes forever for her to fall asleep. Then when she is asleep there is no guarantee she will sleep long enough for you to do anything. I will tell every new mom to research baby wearing and see if it's an option for them. There are so many different carriers out there so find what works for you and try it!

The Fisher Price Rock and Play - This was also something I knew I wanted. I had heard nothing but good things about the Rock and Play. Unfortunately at Audra's one month "birthday" she started rejecting the Rock and Play completely. I have not tried it again since she sleeps in the crib and the swing so well. The Rock and Play might make it over to Grandma and Grandpa's or it may go into storage. I'm so incredibly sad we didn't use it longer. Update, I did use it last night to have her in the kitchen with me as I cleaned up from dinner. She fell asleep while I cleaned and sang along to Pandora. Score!

Swaddle Blankets - Swaddle blankets were one of those things I was extremely skeptical about. I heard mixed reviews about why and why you don't need them. I had decided that I would use regular blankets to swaddle her and save myself $25-$45. Well, when we switched her to the crib swaddling her with blankets were not an option since she wiggles right out of them, SIDS and all. So I found a second hand Swaddle Me blanket for $4 and it's been a life saver! She still squirms her way out or partially out of it but that's my baby Houdini for ya. But I've started swaddling one arm out because she's found her fingers and can soothe herself during the night if one hand is free.

Baby Bottles - I knew that baby bottles were a must for me (or at least something to have on hand that I could return if I didn't need them) but having Audra take a bottle has been a lifesaver! Whether someone is watching her while I go out, or my husband feeds her while I eat dinner or if I choose to personally bottle feed her the bottle has really come in handy. I originally had no idea which ones to get so I just picked the Avent bottle. Well after feeding her a whole 4oz and then having her puke it all up I learned that the Avent might not be the best choice. So I learned from my same cousin who gave me the Moby wrap (it's so nice to have someone else in the family with a young baby!) that she chose the Dr. Brown Options bottle for her little boy. So we tried that and after changing the nipple size to a Preemie nipple it's worked much better. Since I've had such problems with breastfeeding, sometimes giving her a bottle regains my sanity as it doesn't give her any gassiness because I can control how much she gets.

Other items I have used that I swore I wouldn't include:
The Boppy Pillow - I mainly just used it in the hospital but now I mainly use it for tummy time. I received as a lender from a friends mom.

Pacifiers - I knew I might pacify my baby eventually but I wanted to wait a few months so we would not have nipple confusion. Well I ended up giving it at the 2 week mark and luckily she isn't confused at all.

Baby mittens - I received some as a gift after Audra was born and I love them. But seriously socks work just as well if you are like me and cannot find the tiny mittens in your huge bin/storage cady of baby stuff

I also want to add I do not have a nursing cover - I use a blanket when around family or church people but I will be attempting to make a nursing shawl/infinity scarf and I'm so excited about it!

So I do feel that all my research did pay off in the end and I would recommend every first time mom do research of some kind. If anything it's good to know the best quality items and the store that sells the for the best price. I hope this helps my mommy-to-be friends!

And lastly, a mommy and me selfie!