One Month In

It seems we have finally hit the one month mark – Happy one month my sweet girl!

Every single day up until this point has seemed to drag by. The nights were so long. The fussy, crabby, crying fits were so loud. The diapers were so many. But one month in and we’ve survived. Lord only knows how but we did. Of course looking back now it seems to have gone by fast but I assure you when I was in the trenches on the edge of losing it did not fly by. There were days I would count down the minutes and seconds until my husband got home or until my sister in law would arrive for back up. Every night at 4am when she wakes I would pray that she would just go back to sleep and not need me. And during those 4am feedings I would have to fight sleep so hard but then I’d get back to bed and my mind wouldn’t shut off. Feeding her has been admittedly a wild ride. A ride I’d love to give up my ticket for if I wasn’t so adamant about getting to the “it gets easier” point. Part of me looks back and goes “gosh where did the time go?” and part of me goes “sweet I made it this far…high five self” I’ve done enough looking back in my recent posts so I’m going to look forward in this one.

I look forward to Summer. I cannot wait for her to be older with the warm weather. Dipping her toes in the water at the beach, going for walks at the local college, eating “solid” foods, wearing cute dresses. Summer had better get here quickly.

I look forward to seeing Audra change in appearance as well as develop a personality. The jury is still out on who she looks like and I cannot wait to see her features further develop. She has started to coo here and there (specifically to one purple butterfly on her play mat) and I cannot wait for those coos to become responsive to being spoken to.

I look forward to her first Christmas. I know…were only in February, but I’m still really looking forward to gaining new traditions and partaking in old ones with her. Christmas Eve couch pictures with one more little person on the couch? Yes please!

I look forward to mommy-and-me day dates. I know how much I enjoy doing things with my own mother and now I get to do them with MY daughter. My heart is so anxious!

Last but not least, I look forward to sleep. Word is, she will eventually sleep a good part of the night. 6-7 hours straight? Sign me up! I do know however, when those nights come I will look back at our 4am groggy feedings and cry over how we don’t cuddle in the dark anymore. But more sleep will be a wonderful thing!

So one month in and many more months to go. I feel ready for those months. I survived the hardest, longest, sleepiest month of my life and it’s made me the mom I am today and I look forward to the mom I’ll be a year from now.

And let's just take a moment and celebrate the fact that I had time to paint my toes last week...I never knew something so small and simple would be such a luxury!