Civilian Life Transistion

Today is the start of a new chapter my life – heck – of OUR life. Today our lives change from Military to Civilian. Four years I waited for this day and it's finally here, I can barely believe it. For the past 4 years our relationship has come second to all things military and I am looking forward having a change of pace – finally!

I've gotten so many questions about our relationship and how it related to the military. I'll try to answer some of them here for anyone who is curious or never did get a real answer from me. 

Did we know each other before my husband went into the USMC? 

  - Yes, my husband and I have known each other since grade school. We dated once back in 2007 but I was the one who broke it off. And broke his heart in the process. I know...I'm terrible

Are you from a military family? 

 - Immediate family no. My husbands Grandfather was in the Army. My Great Grandfather served in WWII. That is about as much military experience either of our families had and yes...that made it harder for everyone (including me) to understand the whole thing. 

Have you been married the whole time he has been in?

 - We started dating 2 months before he "shipped out" and my heart went with him. We exchanged letters (41 to be exact) during his boot camp stint. He came home as often as he could but the first year of his term we saw each other a total of 2.5 months (this includes the first 2 months before he left). His first deployment came right after our engagement. Planning a wedding with no wedding date is NO small task let.me.tell.you. I did not have a wedding date until 2 weeks prior. And even then...it changed a week later. I thought I would loose my freaking mind. But in the end it was all I asked for; small, simple, legal and my dad walking me down the aisle. 

What happened when you got married? Did you live separately or together?

  - Together. We moved to NC a week after our wedding and lived off base for a little over a year. After that time he went on his second deployment and I moved back home to Ohio. 

Was it hard? Didn't time fly?

  - Yes and no to both questions. The hardest parts were saying good bye and keeping communication open. Once you get used to being alone it's nice to have the bathroom all to yourself, the cereal not running out, minimal laundry and eating dinner anytime you want. Going to parties and weddings alone - on the other hand - were hard from day one. Time flew during our time in NC. It seemed like one day I was thinking "this is my life now...it seems like it's going to last forever. And the next week I was thinking "holy crap this is my last day at work...I move next week....my time in NC is over". And then I cried because it flew by. 

What is next on the horizon now that he is out?

  - My husband is technically in the reserves now. Which means he is out of the USMC but if crap happens and they need him back they can technically call him back without hesitation. But in the meantime he has gotten a job working with his brother for a company who sells and repairs air compressors. We are also house hunting now which is strange but exciting!

So there is our story in a small nutshell. We are excited for this new chapter to begin and see where life takes us! 

My Yoga Journey

One year ago today I decided to step into unknown territory. I decided to explore this thing called Yoga. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't even know if I would like it despite hearing everyone I knew that practiced it say they loved it. I didn't think it would teach me so much. I didn't know what I was in for.

I had a free Yoga mat that had taken up space in my closet for years. I was a committed wearer of Yoga pants and so I thought it made sense to actually put it all to use. I also saw the quote "Your pants say Yoga but your butt says Mcdonalds" which really spoke to me. I wasn't concerned that my but said Mcdonalds but I was concerned with being a poser of Yoga-doing. My journey started when I inquired to a cousin about her recent Yoga posts on Facebook. She told me about the app called Pocket Yoga. This app was $3 which I thought was a steal compared to Yoga classes in a studio could cost between $12 per class or up to $100 a month for unlimited classes. The $3 was bargain and perfect way to see if I really wanted to do Yoga.

Well 12 months, 4 Yoga Classes, half a dozen home videos, 71 online videos, hundreds of hours of practice, numerous pictures and videos on my phone later...I'm hooked. I strive to practice every day but we all know that life has a tendency of getting in the way - especially in the way of those things that are good for us - and that usually causes me to practice every other day. But they call it practice for a reason, because you never become perfect. There is always something to improve or make harder (and thus becoming better). This became real to me when I starting taking pictures of my postures and boy...reality check! Even the simplest of poses that I felt I was doing right I ended up doing all wrong. As awkward, time consuming and annoying as taking pictures of myself is, it's really helped improved my posture..in my postures.

Along the way I have acquired another yoga mat, a yoga block, hot yoga towel, a yoga strap and a carrying strap. Not to mention the reputation with all my posts to Social Media about Yoga. My Yoga clothing has expanded and I'm exploring the world of Yoga socks - yes they really do help!

I continue to practice a majority on my own in my own living room. I do venture out to classes when time allows but my last two classes did not cater to my needs so I am a little hesitant to go back at this moment. I prefer to let Jillian Michaels yell at me from my TV :) Doing it in my own living room also allows me to wobble and fall without anyone seeing me. But even the greatest Yogi's fall...it's inevitable.

I have been asked if I will ever teach Yoga and my answer is - it's something I would love to do if time and money allows. Time I have to take out of my already crazy schedule and money I have to find when we are not saving up for a house and paying off debt. I think Yoga Teachers have one of the coolest jobs. You get to wear leggings and comfy shirts all day and you are a lot more free of stress than most!

One of the first things I learned in Yoga that I am most proud of is a handstand. I took a month long challenge on Instagram and as skeptical as I was at first it really truly taught my body how to handstand! Other poses I've learned to love are Crow/Crane Pose, Side Crow, Eight Angle Pose, Pigeon Pose, Dragon Pose and Tree Pose. All heart openener poses are great but I shy away as I don't feel they are beneficial - I'm kidding myself when I think that but honestly I love the challenging poses more. Balance poses like Half Moon Pose, Vertical Splits, Crescent lunge and Warrior 3 are my least favorite. They seem simple and yet I wobble and fall almost every time - Tree pose however is a standing balance pose but I can hold it forever! Hip - opening poses are the most beneficial to me. I learned in a class that I have tight hips - mainly because of Gymnastics/Dance classes over the years. Having stiff angry hips is very common in Yoga which is why there are so many practices for opening the hips. I have a love/hate relationship with all hip-openers mainly because they hurt so good! Arm balance poses are probably my favorite poses. The power and strength your wrists and forearms posses is amazing - I never knew I could hold my body up with just my arms! Poses that still boggle my mind are Scorpion, Forearm Stands, Toe holds, Swinging my feet under & jumping back, Bird of Paradise and Grasshopper Pose. This are all very advanced poses that I no doubt have a goal of eventually reaching them but right now I am comfortable where I'm at in Yoga. Slowly improving but never perfect.

The changes in my mind and body that have come through Yoga have inspired me to keep going - shin muscles exist!? I love the beauty of showing up to the mat and accomplishing what I set out to do. I love having a Yoga agenda that gets thrown off halfway through my practice and my body shows me what it really needs. I also wish I wasn't so late to game of Yoga. I wish I would have started years ago. But today is day one of year number 2. Let it be beautiful. Let it be strong. Let it be self improving. Namaste!

A nutty adventure

Did you know you can eat acorns? Did you know there are 14 different varieties? Did you know there are at least a dozen recipes using acorns? I, like most people never really saw past their cute little hats but these nuts are a secret of the forest that one should explore, understand, and if feeling adventurous enough, eat. But first a disclaimer: Do not eat Acorns raw. All acorns contain a toxin call Tannin. All though the amount of tannin in acorns varies (the bigger the cap the more tannin it has) it has to be leeched out no matter what. Tannin if ingested will not be fatal but it will make you very very sick. Leeching out the tannin is as easy as soaking the nut meat for 24 hours and switching out the water every 8 hours. This story ends with Acorn pancakes (I know right?) But lets start at the beginning...

The mighty Oak

I was able to walk a neighbor's property and scour like a squirrel for acorns. At first I was looking too hard and quickly became discouraged but soon I realized they were right under my nose...er feet. 

How many acorns can you spot?

The stages of acorns: new, ripe and over ripe.

My sweet acorn busting helpers!

After the searching, the busting, and the leeching came the roasting or drying. I did not get a lot of acorn meat from my scavenge but it was a great first time experience for me. If you crack the acorns open and the pale beige meat has an brown spots or lines it can contain worms so these were tossed right away.  Drying the acorns takes a lot longer than you would think. I found no guideline as to how long I should dry them in a low oven so lesson learned here dry them longer than you'd think. I dried mine in a 250 degree oven for 30 minutes.

 I then put them in my coffee grinder to which they turned in to a thick mush. After that I decided to dry the mush for another 30 minutes which made it dry and crispy and much easier to grind.

The second time around of grinding I got the flour consistency I was looking for. I then got to pancake-making. I used this recipe from PBS. This recipe did not call for any sweetener and that is one thing I would change next time. A little honey, maple syrup or brown sugar would be delish!

Mix it up baby now!

Wah-la silver dollar sized acorn pancakes!

Now you want to know how they tasted right? Well they tasted like acorns.. No it wasn't a bad flavor it was just different and would be very easy to get used to especially with the added sweetener. Though I haven't ever tasted a whole wheat or buckwheat pancake I would imagine they taste very similar to these. So in short, it takes a little effort but if you're willing to put it in and do a little hard work you'll be well rewarded with a product you've probably never tried before. My next acorn recipe? Maple Acorn bread!

A wedding wonderland!

This morning as I sit here trying to gain a less than foggy feeling in my head by sipping on coffee, my hair still a helmet of hairspray, I am staring at my beautiful but slightly droopy bouquet and reminiscing about the joy and excitement that was this past week. My dear and loving friend Michelle finally married her cowboy!

A two year relationship of two amazing people became one married couple yesterday. The wedding was perfect. The reception was perfect. The couple that was celebrated was perfect. And I am honored that I was able to spend it with them!

We made new friends. We made memories. We made jokes which lead to continuous laughter. We learned new dance moves. We learned a new language. We learned that as amazing as life is, it does move on and old chapters end and new chapters start. Michelle's new chapter of being a wife has begun and I anxiously await to see how her beautiful heart grows and adapts to this new title. Often through her day yesterday I was reminded of my own wedding two and 3/4 years ago. The anticipation, the excitement and the tears. All that hard work you put into planning your big day makes it turning out perfect all worth it. 

Yesterday also made me miss my husband that much more. Wishing he could share this moment with me. Wishing he could dance with me. Wishing we could return home together so I wouldn't spend another night alone. Going home alone at night is the worst feeling ever - in case you were wondering. 

But not to drag this post down with "oh woes me" thoughts....Michelle and Jeremy are starting a new adventure together. One of laughs and cries, deep heart-to-heart discussions and maybe even a few spats. It's all part of being married but the best part is when the day is done you don't have to go home without each other....you just get to go to bed with the love of your life!

May the Lord's blessings fill your life and your marriage. May you continue to grow together as you grow towards Him. Don't take everything so seriously. Don't hold back. Don't hold it in. Let it out. Let it be. Let love grow!

Congratulations to the newly hitched Mr. and Mrs!

This is how we do it.

Upon talking to a friend recently I was asked THE most common question I've ever been asked regarding having my husband deployed; “How do you do it?” Well I have decided to answer that question so that anyone who really wants my answer can have it. I don't mean for this to be an “in your face, leave me alone” post. I mean for this to simply be a longer explanation than I can explain in the short period of time in which I have these conversations with friends and family. I'm sharing my heart here and I hope that comes across. Men and women go through separation through deployment every day of every year and we all deal with it differently. This is how I deal.

Deployments are hard, let no one ever tell you differently. Every time my husband leaves it seems as though my heart will never feel whole again and things will never get better. The first night he leaves I always find myself sobbing on the couch wondering why it happens to me. This deployment was our first as a married couple so the night he left I honestly felt so empty and incomplete. They say your spouse is your other half and I now understand what it feels like to not have your other half with you – it's horrible. But all you can do is pray and count down the days until he returns home; you're heart only growing fonder.

One of the best ways I have found to deal with deployment is stay busy. This seems like simple science but sometimes it can be harder to fill up every day with something to do especially when you are between jobs. It also means that when I do have things to do I'm always wishing my husband was there sharing in them with me. For every party, wedding, celebration, festival etc. I always have a hard time going solo. That part never gets easier. But if you stay busy most of the time it's easier to not focus on him being gone. I count my blessings that I get to hear from my husband everyday. Our first deployment I was not so lucky so this is a huge blessing even though there are days when communicating through Facebook seems incredibly hard. I know we have it easy compared to the days of letter writing.

Now for every 2 weeks or so of easy days there is always a hard day. The hard days are when you rise in the morning and cry before the coffee is done brewing. You save putting on your mascara until you've convinced yourself you're not going to cry for the rest of the day only setting yourself up for failure. When you hear your wedding song on the radio only adding to the heartache you feel. These are the days when friends, family, bosses, and the occasional bank teller have to either understand or not ask questions. Friends, I have had my fair share of sobbing on the way to work and trying to get enough courage up before going in the building only to loose it again in the bathroom. But I learned early on when you have a hard day you cry it out. You cry your tear ducts dry and you clean yourself up and you continue on. Swallowing the tears only makes it come on stronger later on. I once became really good and swallowing my sadness and let me tell you in the long run it didn't help anything. If you've ever been near me after a phone call with my husband you can attest to some tears being shed. I am still amazed at how the body can go from being so happy to hear my husbands voice to being completely upset the moment we hang up. It gets me every single time.

I'm going to wrap up this answering session by saying I'm not superwoman. I'm not a great Christian example of a strong military wife who isn't bothered daily by this deployment. I am not as strong as you think. I'm not OK with being separated from my husband for a really long period of time. But this is the life I signed up for and I have an amazing husband who is counting down daily with me until we are re-united. We have a God who is binding us together through such a vast distance. We have a love that is only growing stronger for each other every day.

We are less than 300 days away from being done with military life and I'm so excited to begin a normal life!

Hey Hey 5K!

Today marked another entry off the bucket list. My first 5K that I ran, my second 5k that participated in. The  Susan G Komen Akron Race for the Cure was today. I ran it today with a friend and her beautiful mother who is a Breast Cancer Survivor and my own mother came for moral support. It was a wonderful morning filled with a contagious energy of supporters and survivors alike. 3.1 miles was a small token that we ran/walked to show our fight against Breast Cancer.

 

The morning started early with our drive down to Akron. Getting there and parking in the parking garage we were immediately met with energy and excitement! Parking and finding our way to the main area to get the lowdown on the days events seeing so many people (individual  and teams) with their brightly colored shirts, crazy socks and pink tutus galore.

8:30am brought the race start time. We were instructed through a quick exercise/warm up routine and with 3 minutes left we counted it down to start the race.

And go!

This was my first experience with a race. After we started, the sound of footsteps filled my ears. People talking excitedly and setting their personal fitness exercise meters... we were on our way. Because I did not know the course I was unaware of landmarks that mark certain parts of the course so I was unable to judge distance. Little did I know that markers were along the way you just had to run long enough to get to one. There were also a few more hills than I was expecting - I trained with hills and I typically love hills but these hills were big and long. Such a blow to morale. I slowed to a walking pace before the first mile marker. The one mile marker was marked with a dozen motorcycles revving their engines to re-ignite the fading excitement that the one mile marker brought. I continued at a run/walk pace for the remainder of the race, meeting a woman by the name of Paula at 1.4 miles. Her and I had similar run/walk styles of racing but she also had a device that told her how far we'd gone - she became my new pal. We continued to match and pass each other throughout the race and chatting as we went. She was avid into cycling and this was her second Breast Cancer Race. 

The 2 mile was marked with a color "tunnel" where if you chose you can run in a lane and get eco-friendly pink powder thrown at you. This seemed like a great idea at the time however when the sweat began to pour the powder continued to mix with it making for a gruby dirty feeling. At 2.6 miles the sound of the finish line was evident. Loud music and people cheering gave me the energy to push through until the end, I was almost there! Rounding the final turn I had  my sites on the finish line. Passing over that line and looking at the clock reading 40:06. Not the best but better than I was thinking. Shortly after I noticed my mom trying to take pictures and she was able to get this shot. :)

Covered in sweat and pink powder but floating on a cloud that I finished. 

We then waited for my dear friend and her momma to reach the finish line so we could celebrate with them. Such joy was felt by everyone!

After we made our way down the paved golf cart trail, grabbed our apples and bananas we made our way to the vendor area where we proceeded to get free totebags, waterbottles, pens, beads, paper fans and enter into drawings to win shoes. It was great time! After this we made our way to the famous 18th hole where the Survivor ceremony would take place. We listened to speakers speak, awards be awarded and the survivors walk to be recognized. 

After the ceremony we made our way to the shuttle buses which took us to the After Party. Among everything there, there was an ice cream truck If you know me you know I wanted ice cream after my race - so what better way to celebrate then with a old school screwball!?

More pictures from my dear friend Kristin

The day was great.

The rain held off. 

The run was painful and great. 

I cannot wait for my next one!

Whose coming with me??

A May to Remember

It's been  a while since my last post and not a lot has happened in the last 5 months.

We have found ourselves in another deployment. We are one month in which means we are 7-8 months away from the end. The time is going slow as I am still job searching but communication with my husband has been easy and that is the biggest blessing at this point.

May 2014 will hopefully be one that I remember for a long time. It was this month that I decided to take my Yoga seriously and enroll in a Handstand challenge via Instagram. I follow Kerri Verna on Instagram who created this challenge at just the moment that I started practicing handstands to better my Yoga practice. All month long we were given a daily pose or stand to do. We had to take a picture or video, post it and tag Kerri. I made it through the entire month doing my daily steps and I am so proud I made it - my handstands have seriously improved 180 degrees! At the end of April I took many "before" videos with the thought that I knew something about how to handstand and maybe this challenge would help me better my balance but it was way more than that! We were taught step by step how to place weight on our fingers, rotate our biceps, protract the shoulders. engage the legs, suck in the belly and above all find balance. Different steps each day using a doorway or a wall caused me to really understand how to handstand.

Here is a small collage of pictures I took of myself throughout the challenge. All of the videos I took are on my Instragram. My record is a 16 second handstand which I never thought I'd ever do. If you don't think that is very long you try and handstand that long without any assistance. I challenge you. 

Also in May I became serious about running and for all those who know me know that I HATE running with a burning passion. In April I signed up for my second Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Race for the Cure. Susan G Komen has always been a cause close to my heart. I have never had a family member who has had breast cancer but I have felt drawn to it still. I few years ago I walked my first ever Breast Cancer 5k with a friend. That day I was so excited when we left the house that I left my shoes behind. Yes I did not realize it until we arrived at the race and long story short I walked the race in my friends sandals. I had blisters for days and a new understanding of what pain is and I vowed to never forget my shoes again. The Susan G Komen Association does such an amazing job on race day. You feel the love and support even if you do not have cancer. I was hooked and could not wait to go back - but I had it on my bucket list that I wanted to RUN a 5K at some point in my life. Now with my husband deployed I felt this was the perfect time in my life to train for the 5K and check that box off on my bucket list. Along the way I would also check off the "Run one mile straight" box but I had no idea how long it would be until I got there. Little did I know that day would be today, June 1, 2014. 

I ran one mile straight. 

My training thus far has been spotty and discouraging and agonizing. I've had shin splints and pain that made it so easy to stop. I've run on a treadmill, a track, a sidewalk, a side street and a paved trail. I felt like I would never be able to run the 5K because giving up came so easy to me and because...I hate running. But after getting some simple yet life-changing advice from a friend "run a distance rather than a time" my eyes have been opened anew. I got that advice on Friday and conquered my goal and then some. I took a break yesterday. And today, let me repeat, I ran one mile. Straight. So now I am motivated and encouraged to keep trudging on with my 5K training. I'm empowered to keep going even when my legs are killing me but I am also learning that if I do need to stop for a minute and rest that it is OK. I do not think I will ever enjoy running but I do enjoy the accomplishments it's entitled me to. It's given me a new feeling of pride and a new reason to be happy. 

Support Breast Cancer. Support those who have it and those who fight against it.