Being a mom. Something I've wanted since I was a small girl. Something I knew I was born to be. Something I never knew was so hard. Something that has changed me forever. I am so grateful for my own mother every single day because I never knew the sacrifice, perseverance and love it takes to raise a child. You can't quit. Ever. You may get a break here and there but you're always on call. No days off. No holidays. No recess. I've entered a world I thought I was prepared for and yet I was not prepared at all. I have to continue to find time for myself, ask for help, hand Audra off to my husband if I need 5 minutes to myself to either shower or cry. I'm continuing to learn the art of being flexible, patient and selfless. All things in which I am not and I'm being taught by a 4 month old. Circle of life.
This blog story starts last Wednesday night when my own cat bit me. The reason is not important other than he was provoked. He has never bitten me so as much as I hated him for doing it to me I didn't think much else of it except clean the wound and bandage it. Blah blah.
Thursday rolls around and my thumb is puffy, warm, red, and red streaks are leading up my left arm. Not good. Noooot good. Definite signs of an infection. Ok. So we wait it out until Jonathan comes home and decide whether or not to go see a Dr. Only problem is I had a Baby Shower that evening and time was of the essence if we went anywhere. Oh and yeah, throw a baby into the mix. Cray.
Jonathan comes home and we spend an hour trying to figure out what to do. Long story short we call the clinic up town to explain and they said head to the ER. Cat bites are serious business. Ergh. We pack up baby and head to the ER, praying to get in and out in an hour. After seeing 7-8 medical staff including the official Dr for a total of 15 seconds, 3 xrays, (yes totally serious they had to see if there were any teeth in the bite, even after I assured them there was not) 1 tetanus shot (almost had 2 b/c so many people going in and out they got their wires crossed), multiple coos over Audra and how cute she is we got to leave and head home. Just in time to feed the baby, freshen up and leave for the shower. Audra's first baby shower. She has yet to realize how fun they are. Haha.
Thursday did bring other positive things though. The anniversary of finding out I was pregnant and Audra rolling from back to belly for the first time on her own. 2 minute happy dance for our little girl at that point!
Friday comes around. Fridays are the best in my opinion. We were super productive Friday morning. Dishes washed, Mother's Day gifts bought, prescription filled, dinner planned, sun shining, it was a glorious day. Until noon. We got home from our errands and I could barely even keep my eyes open. I was exhausted, every muscle in my body ached, I was nauseous and I had the chills. "Oh Audra please go to sleep so I can sleep" I said with tears in my eyes. I was getting sick and I wasn't happy about it at all. Audra luckily slept 2 hours. One hour on me, the other in her swing. I was so blessed to get a shower in. A shower always helps. But off and on for the next 24 hours I was miserable. It peaked Friday night feeding Audra and I had a 101 fever and everything hurt. Everything. Luckily Audra slept very well this night. I couldn't have asked for anything better from her. At first I thought the cause was side effects of the Tetanus shot but then I felt more like I picked up a bug somewhere. It lasted until Saturday evening. Tylenol and sleep were my best friend. My husband was also my best friend, taking Audra when he could and helping when needed. Being a mom and being sick was just as horrible as I imagined and I wasn't even THAT sick. I am so in awe of the human body and how it can combat infection with a fever and fight without me having to do too much except feel miserable.
Sunday finally rolled around and I got to have my very first Mother's Day. How precious. But I think Hollywood screwed that up for me too over the years. There was no surprise trip away without the baby. There was no breakfast in bed. But there were donuts and that's basically better in my book. We arrive at church and my wonderful sister-in-law (Susie Homemaker!) made homemade doughnuts for her family that morning and brought us some. Even though my stomach was still a little nauseous I had several doughnut holes. Pure deliciousness! Sunday was then filled with family gatherings, sunshine, baby-free arms, the sweetest tear-provoking card from my husband (which I'm pretty sure I'll read every single day until Audra graduates high school) and pizza for dinner.
Last but not least Sunday brought Audra's 4 month "birthday". I cannot believe I've been a mother for 4 months now! We have moved her crib into our spare/storage room. This has been great the last 2 nights. It's almost weird though that I feel so far away from her because she's been so close for 4 months. Audra is learning new things every week. She has found her toes! A day I've look forward to since she was born. One of my favorite things is when babies find their toes. There is nothing cuter. Her teething seems to be calm for now. Calm before the storm? Perhaps. She rolls over a lot these days. She talks, giggle and smiles so much. She grabs things like a champ, including my hair. Not so great. She is getting more used to other people holding her besides me - Praise to the Lord on this one! We are even getting a little more sleep these nights.
A dress from Great Grandma. When I received this I felt like it would be for.ev.er until she wore it. Time flies!
Because happy baby = happy mommy
At last but not least...
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